You would think going to see a neurologist would involve a doctor entering the room in a hurry, looking at the 'patient', shining lights in their eyes, examining them with modern day lasers and tools, typing notes onto his iPad or speaking medical jargon into a recorder. you know, the scenario of our modern day medicine world.
well, thanks to all your positive thoughts and energy, lily's neurologist is none of the above and instantly put me at ease when he walked into the room and introduced himself as the 'old man i had spoke to on the phone'.
he is old school.
he sat down and told us stories.
he smiled.
he never even looked at the nine pages of medical papers i had filled out for the visit.
he got out his old school medical bag and it was full of surprises.
the special medical bag... what could he possibly have in there?
toys.
all kinds of toys for her and landon to look at.
it was a good experience. he must have spent an entire hour with us, just chatting really. he just wanted to meet lily and get to know her.
lily is a perfectly normal, bouncing, baby girl with eyes that shimmy (thats the word he used and i am going with it). she has an eye shimmy because this tumor decided to plant its roots in the wrong spot. it is still a rare condition. it is still scary, but slowly i am accepting it. its not my decision to make, this is our journey. her journey and it is opening my eyes.
we still have many tests to be done. another mri with contrast focusing in on the area. a pet scan to see how active it is. these tests will determine what we need to do and what is best for lily.
i have been bringing lily to a massage therapist to do cranial sacral massage. we began this before her diagnosis. she has helped us immensely. lily does not want to leave her, ever. i have to pull her from the therapists arms. she likes how it feels, all the good energy flowing into her little body. she loves it. and the therapist, pam, told me to think of white when i am holding lily. to think of white and generate that positive, healing energy to her. the other night, when i lay there sleepless, that is what i thought of. it relaxed me and i drifted off. so now i am off, hopefully i sleep. good night to all you peeps.
That's good to have a doctor you feel at ease with. It's also very good to read that you are tapping into your inner strength.
ReplyDeleteSweet Lily I will be sending you positive, white thoughts of fluffy clouds, bunnies & daisies.
xoxox
Lovely.xxx
ReplyDeleteWhite light and love to you and your family.
It was not the usual Dr. appointment.....he was gentle, casual and put us at ease immediately. A genuinely concerned Dr. with his beautiful little patient, he is a good fit for our little Lily, I feel she couldn't be in more capable loving hands. It's amazing how life puts different people in our life's path to guide us down our journey and encourage and support us as need be. Pam has come into our lives and does wonders with Lily to give her a sense of calm and balance. We are truly blessed to have such loving people touch our lives. Keeping that white energy flowing.
ReplyDeleteLove Ya, Mom
That sounds good. Doctors can create more panic but they can also ease us, just depends on who we met. I am happy you met the right one for your family and I hope he will help you to go through the stormy days that lay ahead!
ReplyDeleteVisualizing white as positive energy sounds like an easy method to give Lilly power, to give you sleep and to get you through the days and nights.
As you wrote the hardest thing of it all must be accepting and I am amazed that you are already on the way of "letting go" and accept. I think this is giving you the opportunity to focus on supporting Lilly instead of asking why - which will never be answered.
Somebody once said to me: We can't change our childrens faith.
This is so hard because we would love to take it all of them, don't we? But that is not our task, so it seems, we can support them and give them love and light and then we have to wait and see... So if you are able to accept, you are such a way foreward and I admire that!
What a great Mum you are!
xoxo. and white.
ReplyDeleteThinking of white and sending prayers. I'm sorry to hear such tough news about your Lily. I've asked other church members to pray and will continue to ask, Andy and Heather.
ReplyDeleteKindest regards,
Andrea Lewis
In Buddhist meditation, one visualises gently on the out breath,sending a purifying,healing white light to another. This Little Lily and Heather I send to you. xx
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