last night she was up quite a bit. not to nurse, not for anything but wanting to be held close to me in my arms. she kept reaching up to touch my face. i think she senses my sadness and was letting me know that things are going to be alright. she needed reassurance that i am there for her. just as i need your reassurance.
nights are the hardest time. the days are busy with the other littles, laughter and good times with family and friends. but at night, its different. it is when my heart aches like it never has before. when, and if, i do fall asleep, i awake with tears wetting my cheeks and pillow. deep breathes, deep breathes...
please continue to pray. light candles. meditate. sing. dance. smile. send positive energy and good thoughts. whatever your thing is that you do so well. we will get through this. i feel like i have all the support in the world which makes this doable.
much love to you. lily and her mama
here's my little one with her beautiful eyes thanking you. she is all smiles until i get her in front of a camera, we will work on that next. all my love again
Lily's candle burns brightly here, I thought of you all day in every possible positive way.
ReplyDeleteYou can do this, keep your faith & your head up.
xoxox
Lily is gorgeous. What a beautiful photo.
ReplyDeleteNights are dark and we are tired and we mull over everything and think thoughts we shouldn't be thinking.
Blessings to you and your family.
Feel the love.
lily has been encircled with love and light. best wishes for today. x.
ReplyDeleteLily is just beautiful. I am remembering her (and you) in my meditation and prayers each day.
ReplyDeleteTake care. xx
Lily is so cute and I can imagine how the nights are. But you also need the nights to gain strength, so I hope better nights will follow and the dark frightening moments will go aside a bit so you can rest...
ReplyDeleteTake care
Heather, isn't she just beautiful? i've been keeping you and Lily so much in my thoughts, especially today (tues). My deepest thoughts will be with you as you go into the nights. So much must happen in those quiet moments ... thinking of you all x
ReplyDeleteHello Heather, I am a big fan of your sister Kristi's blog, and I see by Lily's photo that her sister has those same great photog genes :D Aren't Lily's eyes beautiful to look at and into! Try to remember as you go through this that there are some things to be grateful for, you caught it early, apparently most of these are benign and they can do more about this now than ever before. My niece Bri was recently diagnosed with Osteosarcoma, also a very rare cancer especially in girls. My sister also was sad and didn't want to show that to her other three girls... I try to remind her that sadness is love manifested for us to see, children know that so don't be afraid to show them your sadness and allow theirs as well, it helps. We try to stay positive going forward and I know you will too... Loving energy goes out to you and yours for the best outcome possible.
ReplyDeleteBoston Giggles Fan
I keep thinking of your beautiful Lily if I happen to wake up suddenly at night. Stay strong, we are all praying and sending the power of faith your way.
ReplyDeletePS. "Do not distress yourself with dark imaginings; many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness."
~ The Desiderata
Sweet little babe! She as so many thinking and praying for her.
ReplyDeleteLove Ya, Mom
thinking of you all.
ReplyDeletecheryl xox.