a visit from safari jane

all the other little boys in his preschool class could not wait to get their hands on the spiders and other creepy crawly animals, but this special little one patiently waited for his turn to hold the bunny.  i love watching him interact with his classmates.  and him holding that bunny, the look on his face, precious...

not alone

as i held lily at the oncology clinic, her nurse, annie, mentioned to me that there is a brain tumor event in town that i might be interested in going to with the family.  she pointed to the posted flyer and started talking about bouncy houses,  activities for the children,  among other things.  its a walk a thon by students supporting brain tumor research (www.ssbtr.org)

out of nowhere, it struck me... my daughter has a brain tumor, a brain tumor.  obviously this is something i have known for awhile.  yet at times, it is like i am hearing it for the first time.  i am swept over by emotions.  and this was at the clinic.  as i was undressing her for the nurse to access her port to administer chemo.  how is it that i felt so shocked?

someday, i know i will look back and wonder how i did it.  i will realize how stressed and overwhelmed i really was.  but now in the midst of things, i must be oblivious to the obvious.  am i walking around in a daze?  i don't have an answer to that. maybe.  so when the women in my church group offer their help, i take it.  when neighbors say to call anytime, i will.  normally i am one to give, but for now i will accept what is being given to me.  i will let it warm and calm my heart.  i will know that i am not alone.

less then perfect

sometimes the day just does not go as planned.  i try to keep it positive.  calm with my children, but not everyday is like i wish.

lily's blood counts are low.  and i mean low, low.  i think about as low as possible before they have to give her some platelets.  needless to say, she did not receive treatment.  we will try again next week.  so for now, all i have to do is keep her healthy.  no germs for my immune deficient little girl please.

upon picking up the boys from school i insisted that they each use a squirt of hand sanitizer.  that was where it all started.  they protested, both of them, you would have thought i was putting it into their mouths.  and i am sorry, but i have become a germ phobe, i can't help it.  its flu season, everyone is sick.  these boys come home from school with dirty little hands.  they enter the car and cannot keep their little fingers off their sister.  i know they love her to pieces and just can't get enough, but ahhhmmm, use the sanitizer please.  i insisted, they gave in, but it set the tone for our afternoon.

remember my little heart making angel.... well the jekle side came out.  he would not eat dinner, insisted only on desert (yeah right).  refused to put on pajamas.  brushing teeth with a mouth that will not open is not so fun.  then he insisted that he was not tired and needed playtime.  how could i not allow him to have his playtime?  then the string of awful words came out. such a sweet little boy.  but when he gets mad, watch out. he uses the ones that sting... i hate you mommy.  the slamming of the door.  it was one rough night for little logan, i must say.  he had to lose several toys for getting out of bed.  i just hope tomorrow is better.  i guess its all part of being a parent. he wore me out.

more hearts

i showed him how to fold the paper in half to make the perfect heart and by gollie, he caught right on.  now i am biased for sure, but are these not the cutest little hearts you have ever seen?  this little one will knock the socks off of his future valentines.

he did make two special ones for his nana... we have those all wrapped up.  i can't wait to see mine.

and one little surprise.  as we were all admiring his creations, i told him how much i loved all the different faces.  he smiled and told me that he even put a bum on a few... (now that would be the two cute circles in the second picture).  he's adding bums to his smiley face valentine hearts.  logan you have me melting... totally made my day.

in the making

its logan's favorite time of the year.  he love, love, loves valentines day.  all i had to do was mention that we were going to decorate a shoe box to collect valentines and he has not stopped cutting out hearts since... in fact, he is still making them as i type.

i just have to share his artful side of the fridge.  each new creation made means its time for him to rearrange and decide what can come down.

landon had fun decorating his box as well.  it accompanied him to his bed for nap time.  and while the house was quiet, i listened to logan (and even snuck in a picture) playing make believe with all the stuffed animals.  a perfect day, i hope your was as well.

super bowl weekend

it was a football weekend here...for the boys that is.  lily and i were delighted to be outside admiring the blossoms on our tree.  with such mild weather, the trees think its spring.

my favorite weekend activity... waking up to all my littles in the bed and watching cartoons.  it does not last long, so i absolutely savor every minute.

past few days...

its been one busy week.  full to the brim with the good, bad, and everything in between.

somehow, between chemo treatments, unexpected fevers and ear infections, i managed to have a lovely night out with the girls.  it was a much needed great night accompanied by some yummy bites and wine.  

lily is amazing. even sick she is all smiles.  i rushed her back to the hospital with a fever, the nurses could hardly believe me that she was not well.  a full work up, iv antibiotics, and we were on our way.  she, of course, smiling through it all.

luke has been reading 'appropriate' stories to his brothers.  we went through a long period where he wanted to read encyclopedia type books to logan and landon.  he could not understand why they did not want to sit and listen.  the billy goats bruff has us in a much happier bed time routine.

then just a peek of the little faces i love spending my time with...