so much

this little darling has been through so much in her short beautiful life.

for the past two weeks she has been unable to get her chemotherapy because her blood counts have been low.

today her counts were up, so we sat down and waited for her medicine.  from the start it was an off day.   she had a runny nose, a bit of a cold.  the chemo took over an hour to make it to us.  she was tired and frustrated by the time it arrived.  it usually takes an hour to trickle into her veins.  half way through her infusion, she started acting fussy.  screaming, pulling on her ears, hands and feet.  i did everything i could to calm her.  i tried to nurse her, i carried her (iv pump and all) around the halls.  she was beside herself... finally, the oreo cookies given to me from another mom, calmed her.

she still did not seem right.  i called her nurse over and told him that i felt like she was having an allergic reaction.  but at that moment, she was content with her cookie, and seemed fine.  a few minutes after he left, i started seeing hives breaking out.

always trust your mama instinct.  i had even checked the label on her medication to make sure it was correct.  something was just not right.  an allergic reaction is a risk with the type of chemo she has been getting.

she is fine.  we gave her benedryl, steroids, stayed for another hour to monitor her.  she slept peacefully and the hives disappeared.  the worst part about this is that she cannot have this medication again.  i was  told that if given again, the next reaction would more then likely be anaphylactic, not what i want to see.

so, next week we will go back and she will start on a new chemo.  i am not liking the change of medications.  with the exception of today, she has been doing so well on her two medications.  minimal nausea, the tumor is responding, baby down blonde hair is growing on her head.  i just want to get her through the last few months of this as smooth as possible.  a new medication complicates the situation. the new medication has the side effect of lowering her counts more then her current ones.

this will be one long flu and cold season.  never before has anyone in this family gotten a flu shot. this year is different... i made the appointment for all of us to get it.  i pray this new chemo works and is gentle on her system.

hang in there baby doll.